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	<title>UniqueDove &#187; Pray/Fast 4 Marriage</title>
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		<title>Pray &amp; Fast 4 Marriage</title>
		<link>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/02/pray-fast-4-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/02/pray-fast-4-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:52:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>cherie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pray/Fast 4 Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singles Gatherings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.uniquedove.com/?p=451</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Join hundreds of women (and some men) in fasting lunch (or more) every Monday and praying for godly life-giving marriages! We are asking:
1) For God to give the gift of marriage to those who desire it.
2) That God would work redemption in men so they would have the courage to walk upright before God and commit [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Join hundreds of women (and some men) in fasting lunch (or more) every Monday and praying for godly life-giving marriages! We are asking:</p>
<p>1) For God to give the gift of marriage to those who desire it.<br />
2) That God would work redemption in men so they would have the courage to walk upright before God and commit to a woman in marriage.<br />
3) That women would have the courage to submit to God&#8217;s direction to change for the sake of life-giving marriages.</p>
<p>To receive weekly updates please e-mail <span style="COLOR: #0000ff"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">fast.pray@gmail.com.</span></span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>02/01/10 Pray &amp; fast 4 Marriage</title>
		<link>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/02/020110-pray-fast-4-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/02/020110-pray-fast-4-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:37:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>cherie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pray/Fast 4 Marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.uniquedove.com/?p=444</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

     
Dear Fast-ers and Pray-ers,
 
This the weekly reminder that we are fasting and praying tomorrow for God to 1) give the gift of marriage to those of us who desire it 2) work redemption in men so that they can commit to a woman in marriage and 3) change us where we need to be [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><a href="mailto:pray.fast@gmail.com"></a></div>
<div>
<div>     </div>
<p>Dear Fast-ers and Pray-ers,</p></div>
<div> </div>
<div>This the weekly reminder that we are fasting and praying tomorrow for God to 1) give the gift of marriage to those of us who desire it 2) work redemption in men so that they can commit to a woman in marriage and 3) change us where we need to be changed. I had some thoughts I wanted to share with you this week about fasting, but I also wanted to pass along a terrific sermon by Tim Keller that Conn sent me.  Its excellent. I&#8217;ve pasted it below, and here is the link: <a href="http://blog.uniquedove.com/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://www.preachingtoday.com/sermons/article_print.html?id=34022" target="_blank">http://www.preachingtoday.com/sermons/article_print.html?id=34022</a> When you have the time to read it, I think you&#8217;ll be encouraged by it.</div>
<div> </div>
<div>Its Sunday, and I am fasting today rather than Monday this week. Church is canceled and I&#8217;m snowed in, sitting in front of a roaring fire, drinking water and V8 juice.  I want to eat. Pretty much everything in the fridge. Fasting is hard! Some days it is easier than others, but overall I find it hard. But I want to keep asking God for grace to fast. I want to keep fasting as a regular part of my life. Why?</div>
<div> </div>
<div>I have found that fasting has both an inward, and an outward dimension. And I need, and want, both. Fasting helps draw me towards God. It sloughs off a layer of muck on my heart, helping me to hear God more clearly, and feel his presense more acutely. It helps me worship. It re-orients my life in a God-ward direction. I find that most things around me pull me away from God and pursuing his kingdom; fasting pulls me back on the path. Fasting re-sets my compass to true North. I need that, regularly. Desperately. Fasting is so good for me.</div>
<div> </div>
<div>But there is also an outward dimension, of course. I heard a quote this week that went something like this &#8220;When there is no human remedy, God calls a fast.&#8221; We need God to work powerfully in us, in men, and in our wider culture to bring about Godly marriages, and men and women who can relate to God, and each other as God designed. I know you have all experienced the fallout. I have, too. We&#8217;ve all suffered- men and women, and we need God to act. To move. To redeem. To pour Himself out on us.  To heal what is broken. And so, we fast. Not just for ourselves for what we want, but for God to work in our culture in a powerful way. Its not just about each single person on the list getting married&#8211;though I pray for that. Its about God showing up to turn back the destructive tide of all the gender confusion and brokenness.  One prayer I pray most Mondays is for our group to make an impact far out of proportion to who we are. I pray that God uses our prayers and fasting to blast &#8220;dynamite&#8221; in the boulders of pornography, fear, self centeredness, idolatry&#8230; all the things that keep us, and the men we know, bound. And I believe God is doing that.</div>
<div> </div>
<div>And so, with a refridgerator full of food, I&#8217;ll keep sipping my V8 juice&#8230;and pray that God hears, and that he acts.</div>
<div> </div>
<div>Enjoy the Tim Keller sermon. I did!</div>
<div> </div>
<div>Grateful to be praying and fasting with you,  </div>
<div> </div>
<div>Anne</div>
<div><a href="mailto:pray.fast@gmail.com">fast.pray@gmail.com</a> </div>
<div><strong>Leah: The Girl Nobody Wanted</strong></div>
<div>Tim Keller</div>
<div>
<p>Genesis 29:15–35<br />
<span>Introduction</span></p>
<p>I&#8217;m going to read you a passage out of the Old Testament: Genesis 29. And one of the things we&#8217;re struck with immediately is that the Bible is the most unsentimental of all books when it comes to the subject of marriage and family. It is utterly realistic about this—that it is always hard and often devastating to not be married and it is always hard and sometimes devastating to be married.</p>
<p>Keeping this biblical understanding is very difficult, because there&#8217;s almost no support for it institutionally, structurally. Outside Christian circles, or in the secular world at large, there&#8217;s a tremendous amount of fear and a tremendous amount of cynicism about marriage, and with good reason, because of one of the things I just said that the Bible talks about. On the other hand, inside Christian circles there is a tendency to say, <em>ah, marriage, that&#8217;s what life&#8217;s about</em>. Marriage, family, kids, white picket fence. And the Bible says both of those attitudes are utterly wrong, because the Bible does not show us Jesus Christ pointing to marriage saying, &#8220;This is what you need.&#8221; But rather the Bible shows us marriage both in its strengths and even in its tremendous difficulties pointing to Jesus Christ as the thing we need.</p>
<p>Now it&#8217;s never been more obvious when I read you this account. I&#8217;m going to read Genesis 29:15-35:</p>
<blockquote><p>Now after Jacob had been with Laban for a month, Laban said to him, &#8220;Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.&#8221; Now Laban had two daughters. The name of the older was Leah; the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form and beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, &#8220;I&#8217;ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.&#8221; Laban said, &#8220;It&#8217;s better that I should give her to you than some other man. Stay here with me.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. Then Jacob said to Laban, &#8220;Give me my wife. My time is completed. I want to lie with her.&#8221; So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. And when evening came he took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her and Laban gave his servant girl Zilpah to his daughter Leah as her maid servant.</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>But when morning came, behold, it was Leah. So Jacob said to Laban, &#8220;What is this you have done to me. I served you for Rachel, didn&#8217;t I? Why have you deceived me?&#8221; And Laban replied, &#8220;It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter&#8217;s bridal week, and then we&#8217;ll give you the younger one also in return for another seven years of work.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. Laban gave his servant girl Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maidservant. And Jacob lay with Rachel also and he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>Now when the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb though Rachel was barren. And Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben for she said &#8220;It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.&#8221; She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, &#8220;Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.&#8221; So she named him Simeon. And again she conceived. And when she gave birth to a son she said, &#8220;Now at last my husband will become attached to me because I have born him three sons.&#8221; So he was named Levi. And she conceived yet again. And when she gave birth to a son she said, &#8220;This time I will praise the Lord.&#8221; So she named him Judah, and then she stopped having children.</p></blockquote>
<p><span>A Family of Grace, a Family of Suffering</span><br />
First of all, there are two things you have to know as background of this story. You have to know that Jacob came from a family chosen by grace and a family filled with suffering. Jacob had a grandfather named Abraham. One day God comes to Abraham and says, &#8220;Abraham, look at the world. Do you see the misery? Do you see the cruelty? Do you see the injustice? Do you see the disease? Do you see the tragedy? Do you see death itself? I&#8217;m going to do something about it. I&#8217;m going to heal it. I&#8217;m going to redeem it all. And I&#8217;m going to do it through your family. One of your descendants will be the Messiah.&#8221;</p>
<p>God says to Abraham, &#8220;And, therefore, this is what has to happen. You need to know that, in every generation of your family there will be children, but one of the children will be the seed. One child will be the messianic seed, the bearer of the messianic strain. And that child should be head of the family, and that child must walk before me, and that child must pass the true faith along to all the family, because, of all those children, one of them will be the true seed, until someday one seed will be <em>the</em> Seed, and one prophet will be <em>the</em> Prophet, and one priest will be <em>the</em> Priest, and one king will be the King of kings and Lord of lords.&#8221;</p>
<p>And that was why this was a very special family Jacob was part of. But also, in spite of that—and this is a lesson all by itself—this is a family filled with suffering. Abraham had one son, Isaac, and when Isaac&#8217;s wife, Rebekah, was pregnant and she had two twin sons in her womb, God sent a prophecy to Isaac and said, &#8220;The elder will serve the younger.&#8221; And that means God was saying to Isaac, <em>the second one out is the seed, not the first one; not the elder but the younger—that&#8217;s the seed</em>. <em>That&#8217;s the one I&#8217;ve chosen</em>.</p>
<p>But out they come, Jacob and Esau, and Isaac ignores what God says. He puts his heart on Esau and clearly favors him and loves him more than Jacob. And as a result, devastation is wreaked on both the boys as they grow up. Their characters are ravaged by this. Esau grow up to be willful, proud, and with no self-control at all because of the way that Isaac dotes on him and makes him the favorite, and Jacob turns into a liar. Jacob turns into a deceiver. Jacob turns into a manipulator.</p>
<p>Many of you know the story. What happens is, when they come of age, Jacob deceives his father one day. His father is old and blind, and Jacob dresses up as Esau and goes in and gets Isaac to give Jacob the blessing, to give Jacob the birthright, to give Jacob the headship of the clan. But when Esau realizes what Jacob has done, how he&#8217;s been deceitful, Esau vows to kill him. And so Jacob has got to run, and he flees far, far away, to the other side of the Fertile Crescent, where his mother&#8217;s relatives take him in. His uncle Laban takes him in.</p>
<p>Now Jacob&#8217;s life is over. Jacob isn&#8217;t sure if it&#8217;s God that screwed up, if he&#8217;s the one who screwed up, if his father or his family screwed up. But he&#8217;ll never fulfill his destiny now. He&#8217;s got no faith. It&#8217;s all ruined. He&#8217;s got no money. He&#8217;s got no place. He&#8217;s not in his homeland anymore. It&#8217;s all over. So that&#8217;s the story; that&#8217;s the background.</p>
<p><span>Laban&#8217;s Plot and Leah&#8217;s Lot</span><br />
But now the story has two parts to it—Laban&#8217;s plot and Leah&#8217;s lot. First of all, Laban—Laban&#8217;s plot. Laban is the uncle, and Laban brings Jacob in as a sort of charity case, and Jacob&#8217;s working for him for a month as a shepherd. And Laban suddenly realizes something. He looks and he says, <em>This guy&#8217;s a great shepherd. This guy&#8217;s got management capabilities</em>. And he realizes that if Jacob becomes a foreman for him, he could tremendously expand his operation and he could make a tremendous amount of money, as long as he doesn&#8217;t have to pay Jacob too much. So he comes to Jacob and he says, &#8220;I&#8217;d like to give you a contract. What do you want in order to work for me?&#8221; And Jacob says, &#8220;Rachel.&#8221;</p>
<p>Now Jacob really screwed up here, because when you&#8217;re talking to a con artist, you never let them know your area of weakness. As soon as Laban sees this, as soon as he realizes this guy will do anything for Rachel, Laban&#8217;s got him. Why? Because in Laban Jacob has met his match; because Jacob&#8217;s a liar, Jacob&#8217;s a con artist, and so is Laban, but Laban&#8217;s been at it twenty-five more years. And as a result, you see, he&#8217;s much more experienced at this.</p>
<p>And so Laban thinks, <em>I got a way that I can deal with two problems at once. I will use this; I will exploit this man&#8217;s weakness to deal with two problems at once</em>. Well, what are the two problems? The first problem is, of course, <em>How do I make lots and lots and lots of money? How do I get out of this guy a tremendous amount of valuable skill with very little to pay for it so I can become a wealthy man?</em></p>
<p>But his second problem is Leah. This man had two daughters, and the verse of course you might remember. I tried to read it slowly, but I probably didn&#8217;t. It says, &#8220;Now Laban had two daughters. The older was Leah and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form and beautiful.&#8221;</p>
<p>Now if you go to diverse translations you&#8217;ll find that every single one of the translations will describe Leah&#8217;s eyes differently. Some will say she had tender eyes. Some will say she had delicate eyes. Some will say she had broken eyes, because what the word really means is, &#8220;a breakable, fragile thing.&#8221; And nobody really quite knows exactly what the word means. But it&#8217;s not that hard when you look at the context. When the text uses the word &#8220;weak,&#8221; does it mean that Leah&#8217;s vision was weak? Well, if it says Leah&#8217;s vision was weak, it should say, &#8220;Leah had weak vision, but Rachel could see a long, long way.&#8221; But that&#8217;s not what it says. It&#8217;s not talking about how they looked; it&#8217;s talking about how they <em>looked</em>. It&#8217;s not talking about how they looked with their eyes; it&#8217;s talking about what they looked like.</p>
<p>What it&#8217;s really saying is this. These were two girls. These were not women yet, almost for sure. And Laban had two girls here, and one of them had either crossed eyes or protruding eyes, or some kind of eye disorder, but whatever it was she was ugly. And Rachel was gorgeous. One was an ugly duckling who would never become a swan, and one was absolutely gorgeous; and these two girls had to grow up with each other. And Laban had a problem.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s where the Bible is brutally frank. And you say, ah, thank goodness we&#8217;re beyond all this. But are we? Are we? Laban thinks I&#8217;ll <em>never marry this poor woman off. I&#8217;ll never marry this daughter off. I have a way to get rich and get rid of the daughter that would be around my neck for the rest of my life</em>. That&#8217;s the kind of man he was.</p>
<p>And so what does he do? Well, it&#8217;s pretty interesting. Jacob says, &#8220;I&#8217;ll work for Rachel for seven years.&#8221; What does Laban say in verse 19? &#8220;It&#8217;s better that I give her to you than to some other man. So stay here with me.&#8221; He didn&#8217;t say yes. In other words, he said something that led Jacob to believe he was saying yes, but he would always be able to come back later and say, &#8220;Jacob, read the fine print.&#8221; He says, &#8220;It&#8217;s better for me that she should go to you than some stranger,&#8221; but he didn&#8217;t say yes.</p>
<p>So Jacob works for seven years and says, &#8220;Now I&#8217;ve done my seven years. Send me my wife.&#8221; Laban says fine. And of course, at the time, a wedding feast was a week long. Jacob was happier than most people at wedding feasts because, <em>Now I have Rachel. Now finally something is going right in my life. Finally, something will console me for all the problems I&#8217;ve always had. </em>And so everybody begins to feast and everybody begins to get drunk. And right in the middle of the very first night in comes the wife, in comes the bride all veiled. And they embrace and they are married, and they go into the tent and they go to bed together. And the Hebrew literally says (and it&#8217;s a great narrative ploy), &#8220;But when morning came, behold it was Leah.&#8221;</p>
<p>Jacob goes to Laban and says, &#8220;Why have you done this to me.&#8221; And Laban says, &#8220;Wait. It&#8217;s a custom. You can&#8217;t marry the younger daughter off before the older. It&#8217;s illegal here. It&#8217;s the custom. This is the way we do things. The older daughter has to be married before the younger.&#8221; And lovesick Jacob says, &#8220;Well, what do I do?&#8221; He says, &#8220;I&#8217;ll tell you what. You can marry Rachel too, but you&#8217;ll have to work another seven years for her.&#8221; And Jacob says yes.</p>
<p>And because of all this greed and manipulation in these deceiving men, Leah is thrown into hell. Leah, who probably could have hardened her heart—had she stayed single for a long time, she could have dealt with the fact that she was unwanted, dealt with the fact that in a world like this she was not marketable. You say, <em>aw, we&#8217;re beyond all that</em>. Are we beyond all that? Is our society that different? She might have been able to harden her heart, but because of these men she is now put into a situation where she is married to a man who not only doesn&#8217;t love her—and many, many people have that—but the person that he does love is also the wife right there. And it&#8217;s her sister. And Leah is put into hell.</p>
<p>The last verses of this passage are the most plaintive I know of anywhere in the Bible or any place, because every time she names a child when she begins to have children she says: Now … now maybe my husband will love me. Now maybe I&#8217;ll have some meaning in life.</p>
<p>And she names Rueben because Rueben means, &#8220;I&#8217;m seen.&#8221; And Simeon means, &#8220;I&#8217;m heard.&#8221; And Levi means, &#8220;I&#8217;m attached.&#8221; And every time a child comes along she says: Now maybe, finally, I&#8217;ll be visible. Now maybe, finally, I&#8217;ll be heard. Now maybe, finally, he&#8217;ll cleave to me. See? Surely now my husband will love me now. And it never happens.</p>
<p>But in the last verse, this is what we read. In the last verse we read, &#8220;And finally she conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, &#8216;This time I will praise the Lord.&#8217; So she named him Judah, and she stopped having children.&#8221;</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s draw out the lessons and let&#8217;s do the way the gospel does. Six lessons—three are bad news, three are good news. That&#8217;s how the gospel goes—lots of bad news at the beginning, but then the good news is much &#8220;gooder&#8221; than the bad news was bad. Now let&#8217;s take the first three. There are three things here. Let&#8217;s do the bad news. There&#8217;s a lot of bad news in this story.</p>
<p><span>Bad News: Sin does you.</span><br />
Number one: you never do sin; sin does you. You never commit sin. Sin commits you. Look carefully. People think that when you do a sin, when you break God&#8217;s law, when you lie, when you use somebody, when you trample on somebody, when you sin, you feel like that&#8217;s just an event, just an action. No, it&#8217;s not. The Bible says that when you sin you don&#8217;t just do an event and then pass on. You create and you release a devastating power that careens around your life indefinitely. Look at what&#8217;s going on here. There are so many examples of this in here.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t have time to trace them all out. Look at what Isaac does to Jacob. Look at how he favors Esau. Look at what he does to Jacob, and now look what&#8217;s going on, reverb. Jacob is doing the very same thing to Leah that his father did to him. And not only that, because Jacob does back to Isaac what Isaac did to him. And eventually, if you keep on going down, the fact that Jacob does this to Leah means that Leah&#8217;s children hate Rachel&#8217;s children when they finally show up. And because Leah&#8217;s children hate Rachel&#8217;s children, because of the way in which Jacob sinned and deceived, they eventually sell Joseph into slavery and then they deceive Jacob and say he&#8217;s dead. And Jacob goes through utter hell.</p>
<p>Hell begets hell. Lie begets lie. Sin begets sin. You never sin. You don&#8217;t do it. It does you. You never sin and pass away. Sin is like a boulder, not a stone; sin is like dropping a boulder into water. The shock waves go out forever.</p>
<p>You never get away with sin. You never get away with it. Anything that&#8217;s a violation of God&#8217;s will for how people should live here and how people should live together, you never get away with it. You don&#8217;t do sin; sin does you. That&#8217;s the first bit of bad news.</p>
<p><span>Bad News: In the morning, it&#8217;s always Leah.</span><br />
The second bit of bad news is, all life here is marked by cosmic disappointment. Cosmic disappointment. I want to say something quickly. Having read this thing and thought about this passage, I want you to know that I love Leah and I am protective of her in this story. But for a minute I have to tell you that she represents something very bad. One of the most fascinating things in the narrative is the way it turns on you, because here is Jacob saying finally, finally I&#8217;m going to have happiness in this life. Finally, finally I&#8217;ve got Rachel. But, behold, in the morning it was Leah.</p>
<p>And there is a very interesting little commentary written by one of my favorite writers, Derrick Kidner, and he puts it this way. Derrick Kidner says, &#8220;But in the morning, behold, it was Leah. This is a miniature of our disillusionment experienced from Eden onwards.&#8221; You know what he&#8217;s saying? He&#8217;s saying this is a miniature, a fact that everybody in this room needs to know, and that is this: No matter what your hopes for a project, no matter what your hopes for marriage, no matter what your hopes for love, no matter what your hopes for a career, no matter what you have hopes in, in the morning it will always be Leah. No matter what you think is Rachel, it will always be Leah. Nobody ever put it any better than C. S. Lewis in his chapter on hope. He says:</p>
<blockquote><p>Most people if they really learn to look into their own heart [and that's what I'm urging you to do right now] most people if they really learn to look into their own hearts would know that they do want and want acutely something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never keep their promise. The longings which arise in us when we first fall in love or first think of some foreign country or first take up some subject that excites us are longings which no marriage, no travel, no learning can ever really satisfy. I am not speaking of what would ordinarily be called unsuccessful marriages or failures of holidays and so on. I&#8217;m speaking of the very best possible ones. There is always something we have grasped at. There&#8217;s always something in that first moment of longing but fades away in the reality. The spouse may be a good spouse. The scenery has been excellent. It turned out to be a good job. But it&#8217;s evaded us. In the morning it&#8217;s always Leah.</p></blockquote>
<p>Now the reason you have to understand that is because it&#8217;s painful to overhear people&#8217;s lives. You notice what I said. I didn&#8217;t say overhear people&#8217;s words, because people don&#8217;t say these things out loud. But you hear it in their life. You hear it. I overhear it when I see people&#8217;s choices. I overhear it when I see people&#8217;s attitudes, when I see what they&#8217;re doing. And that is this. You overhear people saying, essentially, <em>Oh, I&#8217;m going to have such a career. I&#8217;m going to get myself a hunk. I&#8217;m going to get myself a babe. And I&#8217;m going to live in this place, and I&#8217;m going to live in this place, and I&#8217;m going to live in this place. And I am going to have a life</em>. In the morning it&#8217;s always Leah. This is a miniature of the disillusionment which is our lot from Eden onwards.</p>
<p>Eventually, it is definitely going to come through. Eventually, you&#8217;re going to see it. And when you do there are only four possible ways of responding to that. There are only four ways to go, and you&#8217;re going to have to choose one of them and it will totally shape the rest of your life.</p>
<blockquote><p>1. You&#8217;ll either blame the things you have and say I&#8217;ve got to get better ones—better woman, better man, better job.</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>2. Or secondly, you&#8217;ll blame yourself and just hate yourself.</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>3. Or thirdly, you&#8217;ll blame life and you&#8217;ll harden yourself so you&#8217;ll never hope for anything at all.</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>4. Or fourthly, you can blame the theory of reality and you can say if there&#8217;s nothing in this world that ever is Rachel, then Rachel must be beyond this world. If there&#8217;s nothing in this world that will ever satisfy me, then it means that I am made for something beyond this world.</p></blockquote>
<p>Now there are only four possible responses. Which one is it going to be?</p>
<blockquote><p>1. One makes you a fool.</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>2. One makes you a self-hater.</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>3. One makes you an utterly hard cynic.</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>4. And one makes you a Christian.</p></blockquote>
<p>So, the first bit of bad news is sin. You never do sin; sin does you. Secondly, all life is marked by cosmic disappointment. In the morning it&#8217;s always Leah. Always. Thirdly, as bad as life is, you make it much worse through idolatry, and especially the idolatry of a family.</p>
<p><span>Bad News: We make our own lives worse through idolizing family.</span><br />
Now I know this may sound very strange, but what we have here is a form of idolatry where you put your hope in something to give you a sense of being loved, of being valuable, of giving your life meaning. And these are not idols of the liberal world. These are idols of the conservative world, because Jacob says, <em>if I get this gorgeous wife on my arm, if I am married, then I finally will have happiness</em>. And it didn&#8217;t work And poor Leah turns and says, <em>if I have a child, if I have children, if I have sons, if I have this wonderful family then I&#8217;ll be worth something. Then I&#8217;ll be loved</em>. And it never works.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t you know that when you build your life on a white picket fence, when you build your life on being married and having a perfect family and all of your children growing up to be so happy, the Bible comes against that. Huh? Well, doesn&#8217;t the Bible come against immorality and adultery and orgies and living together and, you know? Well, yeah, some other place. That&#8217;s not the text we have here.</p>
<p>We have a text coming against conservative idols here. We have a text coming against traditional values. We have a text that&#8217;s saying if you build your life on a spouse then, at the very best, you&#8217;ll be emotionally dependent or controlling or judgmental; and if anything goes wrong with that spouse, if that spouse has any problems, you will go to pieces and you&#8217;ll be of no help to that spouse or anybody else. If you build your life on your children then, at the very least, you&#8217;ll try to live your life out through your children till they either hate you or they just don&#8217;t have any identity of their own. And at worst, you&#8217;ll end up abusing them because they have got to be good, they have got to be right, they have got to love you or you don&#8217;t have a life. Again and again you see Leah saying, <em>ah, a son. Now … </em>She just fit right in with traditional values, especially at the time. You&#8217;re nobody unless you have children. You&#8217;re a woman, so you must have children. And she does, and it doesn&#8217;t work.</p>
<p>If she had a nicer husband she might have been able to live in a delusion for a longer time. But, fortunately for her, she didn&#8217;t, and she came to see that idols always make the disappointment of this world far, far, far worse. Now that&#8217;s the bad news.</p>
<p>But what&#8217;s the good news? The good news is &#8220;gooder&#8221; than the bad news was bad.</p>
<p><span>Good News: God works with weak people.</span><br />
First of all, the good news is that God works with a very weak people. Now surely somebody out there is saying, <em>This is the stuff I hate in the Bible. Why did you bring something out like this? Here you&#8217;ve got Jacob, and look how he&#8217;s oppressing his women. Look at how he&#8217;s acting. Polygamy, bigamy. Look at women being moved around and abused and sold. Look at this. This is what I hate about the Bible</em>.</p>
<p>Now, dear friends, we could spend a little bit of time on that. In every place, the Bible condemns bigamy and polygamy—every part of God&#8217;s law. This text is showing us the absolute misery and hell that comes when women are treated like this; if you think this text in any way condones that behavior, this text is a screed against that. That&#8217;s not your real problem. The reason why people that read these kinds of stories get so bummed out and confused is this: they have a spiritual paradigm I want to shatter right now.</p>
<p>When you read the Bible and you see all this stupidity and all this stabbing in the back and all this foolishness on the part of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and David and everything, you say &#8220;What&#8217;s going on here?&#8221; You know why you&#8217;re so upset? Because you think the Bible should be a book of virtues. You think the Bible should be a series of inspirational stories with role models. You think the Bible should be a series of stories of heroes. And that proves that you don&#8217;t understand the gospel.</p>
<p>The Bible is not about role models. It&#8217;s not about emulating these great people. The Bible gives you, again and again and again, men and women whom God continues to work with even though they resist his grace, they don&#8217;t deserve his grace, they don&#8217;t seek his grace, and then they don&#8217;t even appreciate after they&#8217;ve been saved by his grace. And it&#8217;s story after story after story. Now why would God give us stories like that? Why would God continue to work with this guy?</p>
<p>My dear friends, listen. If you think the Bible should be a book of virtues or inspirational stories of role models we should be emulating, that means you think that the Bible should be like all the other scriptures and all the other religions. Every other religion says god is at the top of the ladder. He&#8217;s put a ladder down between you and heaven, heaven and earth, and he&#8217;s standing at the top of the ladder and he&#8217;s saying, &#8220;Perform. Do good. Live right. Emulate the heroes. If you try real hard you can come up the ladder to heaven.&#8221;</p>
<p>But Jesus Christ said, you will see angels ascending and descending on the Son of Man, because Christ said you&#8217;ll never come up the ladder. You&#8217;ll never emulate. Look at all these guys. Look at all that they have—revelation from God, miracles in their lives—they have all kinds of incredible things happen to them and they screw up again and again and again. Our Bible, our God, the Christian God is not a God who stands at the top of the ladder, but one who sent his Son down to be the ladder. He&#8217;s not a God who says <em>perform</em>. But he says my Son, Jesus Christ, will come down and live the life you should have lived and die the death you should have died. And that&#8217;s the reason why Bible stories are not a series of stories of role models to emulate, but of weak people like you and me whom a strong God had to come down and become weak and die on the cross to save. God works with weak people. That&#8217;s the first good news.</p>
<p><span>Good News: God works through weak people.</span><br />
Second good news: God works through weak people. Laban really hurt Leah, didn&#8217;t he? Laban really hurt Jacob, didn&#8217;t he? And yet, if you understand how God used Laban in their lives, you&#8217;ll see that it was only because of Laban and all of his tricks and all of his meanness that Jacob finally began to get humbled.</p>
<p>A lot of commentators say, oh my goodness, why didn&#8217;t Jacob put up more of a fuss when he realized what Laban was doing? He could have insisted. He could have said no way to seven more years for Rachel. Why didn&#8217;t he? Because he realized what was happening to him was exactly what he had been doing. He saw himself in Laban and he hated it. He finally began to come around. He finally began to get some perspective. He finally began to realize who he really was and what he&#8217;d really done.</p>
<p>God works in your life through weak people. Right now there&#8217;s a Laban in your life. Instead of just screaming, <em>Why in the world, Lord, have you put this Laban in my life?</em> you have to realize that God works not just <em>with</em> weak people but he works in your life <em>through</em> weak people.</p>
<p><span>Good News: God works in the weakest.</span><br />
Lastly, God is attracted to the weakest. He doesn&#8217;t just work with and work through but he works <em>in</em> the weakest and the most broken of all. This is what is so astounding about Leah. One thing you can&#8217;t realize as you watch her cry out to God and talk about how she wants her husband to love her is that she uses a vocabulary that commentators over the years have been struck by.</p>
<p>There are two words that are used for God in the Old Testament in your English translation. The one word is the Hebrew word translated <em>Elohim</em>. It&#8217;s a generic name for God. It just means God, and everybody used the word. All religions, all people, everybody used the word <em>God</em>. It meant &#8220;the great one.&#8221;</p>
<p>But when God came down to Abraham and Isaac and Jacob he gave them a new name. He gave them a personal name. It was the name Yahweh. This word, <em>Yahweh</em>, was a name he only gave to people to whom he was also giving the story of salvation. He only said <em>Yahweh</em> to people to whom he said &#8220;I want you to believe my promise that through a descendant I will save the world.&#8221; And every place the word <em>Yahweh</em> shows up in the English Old Testament you don&#8217;t see the word <em>God</em> translated. What do you see? The LORD.</p>
<p>And Leah, floundering around like a mad woman, doing anything she can to deal with the hell she&#8217;s in, anything, feeling like, <em>How do I get out of this? I always knew I was homely. I always knew in the world&#8217;s eyes I was nothing. And now every day it&#8217;s just pushed into my face. How am I going to survive this?</em> And she says <em>a child, a child</em>. But every time she has a child she cries out and she faces her husband. <em>Now my husband will save me. Now my husband will love me</em>. And she looks at her child but she also says, every time, <em>the Lord</em>.</p>
<p>She begins to call on the name Yahweh. Now, wait a minute. What happened? Where did Leah hear about this? Leah must have heard the promise, the promise of the seed, the promise of salvation. And she began not just to believe in a general God at the top of the ladder to whom she must submit, which is what everybody else in the world believed; but she began to grab hold of the idea of the Lord, Yahweh, the God who will save by grace.</p>
<p>And what&#8217;s so fascinating is, look carefully and you will see if you go back and read this passage, that she&#8217;s turning to her husband until the very end. And at the very, very end something changes. Something radically changes. Every time she says, &#8220;Now my husband will love me.&#8221; &#8220;Now my husband will love me.&#8221; &#8220;Now my husband will love me.&#8221; And then it says she conceived again, and then she gave birth to a son and she said, &#8220;This time I will praise the Lord.&#8221; Finally, no talk about her husband. What had happened? Through this suffering she stopped turning to her husband, she stopped looking to her children, she stopped looking to anything else and she said I&#8217;m going to praise the Lord. And at that moment she got her life back. At that moment, Laban and Jacob and all the people who had used her and abused her as long as she had stayed in the idolatry fell away; at that point she stood up and she got her life back.</p>
<p>And more than that, look—who was the child? When she finally stopped looking to her husband for those things that only God can give and when she finally turned to God, she said, &#8220;This time I will praise the Lord,&#8221; and the child was who? It was Judah. Who&#8217;s Judah? Get this. God comes to Leah and says, &#8220;You&#8217;ll be the mother of Jesus,&#8221; because Judah was the seed.</p>
<p>But more than that, Leah became the seed—Leah the outsider, the Leah the ugly, Leah the rejected. Because she grabbed hold with faith, she got her life back from all the people that had ruined it for her. She got it back. And God comes down and makes her into the seed. She goes ahead of her husband. She understands the gospel better than her husband. And at the very end God says, <em>Now through your suffering, because you have come to understand the gospel of grace, you are the seed and your son Judah is the seed, and you become the mother of Jesus</em>.</p>
<p>Now how could this be? How could this possibly be? Why would God choose Leah to do that? And the answer is right here. &#8220;When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved he came to her.&#8221; And now we know. The Old Testament shows us what the New Testament really, really tells us. God loves those who others don&#8217;t love. God is attracted to the weak because of his gracious nature and he wants the ones that no one else wants.</p>
<p>But more than that, when he sees a wife who&#8217;s not loved, he shows her that there&#8217;s a heavenly Bridegroom. He shows her that there&#8217;s a heavenly Husband. Jesus Christ, the Bible tells us, is the Bridegroom. He&#8217;s not just the King and we&#8217;re the servants. He&#8217;s not just the Shepherd, and we&#8217;re the sheep. He&#8217;s the Bridegroom, and we&#8217;re the bride. And what happened is, Jesus Christ came to earth and died. He lost his true beauty, the beauty of a noble soul, the beauty of holiness. He lost his true beauty to live a life we should have lived and die the death we should have died, so that when we believe in him we become his bride.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll tell you what it is. Though we may look like Leah, to Jesus Christ we look like Rachel. That&#8217;s the gospel. We might look like Leah in ourselves, but to Jesus Christ we look gorgeous. And that is exactly what God does here. We see here in the Old Testament a foretaste and a hint of the fact that God is the heavenly Bridegroom. He sees the wife who&#8217;s unwanted. That&#8217;s the reason why God chooses the foolish to shame the wise. God chooses the weak to shame the strong. God chooses the things that are despised, even the things that not, to bring to nothing the things that are, so that we might understand God&#8217;s grace.</p>
<p><span>Conclusion</span><br />
If you&#8217;re a person here who&#8217;s still searching for God you need to understand this: God is not the top of the ladder. He sent his Son to be the ladder.</p>
<p>Secondly, if you&#8217;re a person who is very upset whenever you get near a wedding because you&#8217;re so angry that you&#8217;re not married, or if you&#8217;re still just incredibly desperate to be married, you&#8217;ve missed the point. In the morning it&#8217;s never what you thought. You cannot look to anything but Jesus. In heaven we have a Father that will deal with all of our imperfect fathers here. In heaven we have a Brother that will deal with all our imperfect families. In heaven we have a Spouse that will deal with all our imperfect spouses. And until we make him the One, until we say &#8220;this time I will praise the Lord,&#8221; we&#8217;ll never be able to deal with all the imperfection around us.</p>
<p>If there&#8217;s anybody in this building right now that feels like <em>somebody else has ruined my life</em>, look at Leah. Leah gets her life back. She doesn&#8217;t have to be bitter. She doesn&#8217;t have to hate. She doesn&#8217;t have to deceive back. She says, &#8220;This time I will praise the Lord.&#8221; I won&#8217;t look to anything else to give me what only Jesus Christ can be for me. I will not add anything to Jesus Christ as a requirement for being happy. Do that, and you&#8217;ll get your life back.</p>
<p>Is there anybody here who feels ugly? The only eyes that count are radiant with you. The only eyes that count are ravished by you. And that&#8217;s the only comfort that can&#8217;t be quenched.</p></div>
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		<title>01/25/10 Pray &amp; Fast 4 Marriage</title>
		<link>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/01/012510-pray-fast-4-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/01/012510-pray-fast-4-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Jan 2010 22:34:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>cherie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pray/Fast 4 Marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.uniquedove.com/?p=437</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi friends -
Happy Monday! This is your reminder that we fast and pray together during lunch today for 1) marriage for those who desire it, for 2) strength for men to walk forward into marriage, and for 3) us as women to keep &#8220;our hearts open and responsive to what God wants to change in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12px">Hi friends -</p>
<p>Happy Monday! This is your reminder that we fast and pray together during lunch today for 1) marriage for those who desire it, for 2) strength for men to walk forward into marriage, and for 3) us as women to keep &#8220;our hearts open and responsive to what God wants to change in us along this journey.<br />
 <br />
I like to think that God has a sense of humor, so it&#8217;s probably no coincidence that this is the week I am scheduled to send you email. I&#8217;ll give you a small window into my crazy head this weekend and some of the thoughts I had around this whole dating area&#8230;..&#8221;Where are the single men? Should I hire at dating coach? Should I move to Alaska or some other place with a better male: female ratio? Or maybe if I had SAM-and-MEG&#8217;d more guys in college instead of studying I wouldn&#8217;t be single?&#8221; (Translation: Smile At Men-and-Maintain Eye Gaze).<br />
 <br />
In the midst of these thoughts I asked God, &#8220;What is the answer? What should I tell myself? What do I say to friends who struggle with other issues… difficult marriages, inability to have children,<br />
sick parents, unfulfilling jobs?“.  I honestly felt that God put one simple word on my heart, TRUST.<br />
 <br />
This weekend, I grabbed 2 books to help encourage my heart in trusting God in the midst of circumstances where it seems like nothing is happening, and it feels like things might even be moving in the wrong direction; “Psalms” and Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. I&#8217;ll share with you a few of my favorite portions, and I&#8217;ll pray that as you read these, they might sink into your heart and encourage you, too. <br />
 <br />
 &#8221;The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment.&#8221;<br />
 <br />
&#8220;Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God I have put my trust; I will not fear.&#8221; Psalm 56:3-4<br />
 <br />
&#8220;But I have trusted in your mercy; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation&#8221;. Psalm 13:5<br />
 <br />
&#8220;Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!&#8221; Psalm 27:14<br />
 <br />
&#8220;Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust.&#8221; Psalm 40:4<br />
 <br />
And finally, my favorite line from Brennan Manning&#8217;s book:  &#8220;Unwavering trust is a rare and precious thing because it often demands a degree of courage that borders on the heroic. When the shadow of Jesus&#8217; cross falls across our lives in the form of failure, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, unemployment, loneliness, depression, the loss of a loved one; when we are deaf to everything but the shriek of our pain; when the world around us suddenly seems a hostile, menacing place &#8211; at those times we may cry out in anguish, &#8220;How could a loving God permit this to happen?&#8221; At such moments the seeds of distrust are sown. It requires heroic courage to trust in the love of God no matter what happens to us&#8221;.<br />
 <br />
Sweet friends, THANK YOU for your courage to join me in this sacrifice of prayer and fasting! As you pray today, may God deeply fill your hearts with the knowledge and assurance of His love as you boldly and heroically trust in Him. <br />
 <br />
Blessings,<br />
Rachel</span></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12px"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12px"><a href="mailto:fast.pray@gmail.com">fast.pray@gmail.com</a></span></span></span></span></p>
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		<title>Time to Move Mountains!</title>
		<link>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/01/time-to-move-mountains/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/01/time-to-move-mountains/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Jan 2010 19:05:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>cherie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Devotional Inspiration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pray/Fast 4 Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singles Gatherings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.uniquedove.com/?p=430</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh, the Places You&#8217;ll Go!
by Dr. Seuss
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You&#8217;re off to great places! 
You&#8217;re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You&#8217;re on your own.  And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who&#8217;ll decide where to go.
You&#8217;ll look up and down [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2>Oh, the Places You&#8217;ll Go!</h2>
<h3>by Dr. Seuss</h3>
<p>Congratulations!<br />
Today is your day.<br />
You&#8217;re off to great places! <br />
You&#8217;re off and away!</p>
<p>You have brains in your head.<br />
You have feet in your shoes<br />
You can steer yourself<br />
any direction you choose.<br />
You&#8217;re on your own.  And you know what you know.<br />
And YOU are the guy who&#8217;ll decide where to go.</p>
<p>You&#8217;ll look up and down streets.  Look &#8216;em over with care.<br />
About some you will say, &#8220;I don&#8217;t choose to go there.&#8221;<br />
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,<br />
you&#8217;re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.</p>
<p>And you may not find any<br />
you&#8217;ll want to go down.<br />
In that case, of course,<br />
you&#8217;ll head straight out of town.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s opener there<br />
in the wide open air.</p>
<p>Out there things can happen<br />
and frequently do<br />
to people as brainy<br />
and footsy as you.</p>
<p>And when things start to happen,<br />
don&#8217;t worry.  Don&#8217;t stew.<br />
Just go right along.<br />
You&#8217;ll start happening too.</p>
<p>OH!<br />
THE PLACES YOU&#8217;LL GO!</p>
<p>You&#8217;ll be on your way up!<br />
You&#8217;ll be seeing great sights!<br />
You&#8217;ll join the high fliers<br />
who soar to high heights.</p>
<p>You won&#8217;t lag behind, because you&#8217;ll have the speed.<br />
You&#8217;ll pass the whole gang and you&#8217;ll soon take the lead.<br />
Wherever you fly, you&#8217;ll be the best of the best.<br />
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.</p>
<p>Except when you don&#8217;t<br />
Because, sometimes, you won&#8217;t.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m sorry to say so<br />
but, sadly, it&#8217;s true<br />
and Hang-ups<br />
can happen to you.</p>
<p>You can get all hung up<br />
in a prickle-ly perch.<br />
And your gang will fly on.<br />
You&#8217;ll be left in a Lurch.</p>
<p>You&#8217;ll come down from the Lurch<br />
with an unpleasant bump.<br />
And the chances are, then,<br />
that you&#8217;ll be in a Slump.</p>
<p>And when you&#8217;re in a Slump,<br />
you&#8217;re not in for much fun.<br />
Un-slumping yourself<br />
is not easily done.</p>
<p>You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.<br />
Some windows are lighted.  But mostly they&#8217;re darked.<br />
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!<br />
Do you dare to stay out?  Do you dare to go in?<br />
How much can you lose? How much can you win?</p>
<p>And IF you go in, should you turn left or right&#8230;<br />
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?<br />
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?<br />
Simple it&#8217;s not, I&#8217;m afraid you will find,<br />
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.</p>
<p>You can get so confused<br />
that you&#8217;ll start in to race<br />
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace<br />
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,<br />
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.<br />
The Waiting Place&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230;for people just waiting.<br />
Waiting for a train to go<br />
or a bus to come, or a plane to go<br />
or the mail to come, or the rain to go<br />
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow<br />
or waiting around for a Yes or a No<br />
or waiting for their hair to grow.<br />
Everyone is just waiting.</p>
<p>Waiting for the fish to bite<br />
or waiting for wind to fly a kite<br />
or waiting around for Friday night<br />
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake<br />
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break<br />
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants<br />
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.<br />
Everyone is just waiting.</p>
<p>NO!<br />
That&#8217;s not for you!</p>
<p>Somehow you&#8217;ll escape<br />
all that waiting and staying.<br />
You&#8217;ll find the bright places<br />
where Boom Bands are playing.</p>
<p>With banner flip-flapping,<br />
once more you&#8217;ll ride high!<br />
Ready for anything under the sky.<br />
Ready because you&#8217;re that kind of a guy!</p>
<p>Oh, the places you&#8217;ll go! There is fun to be done!<br />
There are points to be scored.  there are games to be won.<br />
And the magical things you can do with that ball<br />
will make you the winning-est winner of all.<br />
Fame!  You&#8217;ll be famous as famous can be,<br />
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.</p>
<p>Except when they don&#8217;t.<br />
Because, sometimes, they won&#8217;t.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m afraid that some times<br />
you&#8217;ll play lonely games too.<br />
Games you can&#8217;t win<br />
&#8217;cause you&#8217;ll play against you.</p>
<p>All Alone!<br />
Whether you like it or not,<br />
Alone will be something<br />
you&#8217;ll be quite a lot.</p>
<p>And when you&#8217;re alone, there&#8217;s a very good chance<br />
you&#8217;ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.<br />
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,<br />
that can scare you so much you won&#8217;t want to go on.</p>
<p>But on you will go<br />
though the weather be foul<br />
On you will go<br />
though your enemies prowl<br />
On you will go<br />
though the Hakken-Kraks howl<br />
Onward up many<br />
a frightening creek,<br />
though your arms may get sore<br />
and your sneakers may leak.</p>
<p>On and on you will hike<br />
and I know you&#8217;ll hike far<br />
and face up to your problems<br />
whatever they are.</p>
<p>You&#8217;ll get mixed up, of course,<br />
as you already know.<br />
You&#8217;ll get mixed up<br />
with many strange birds as you go.<br />
So be sure when you step.<br />
Step with care and great tact<br />
and remember that Life&#8217;s<br />
a Great Balancing Act.<br />
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.<br />
And never mix up your right foot with your left.</p>
<p>And will you succeed?<br />
Yes! You will, indeed!<br />
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)</p>
<p>KID, YOU&#8217;LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!</p>
<p>So&#8230;<br />
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray<br />
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O&#8217;Shea,<br />
you&#8217;re off to Great Places!<br />
Today is your day!<br />
Your mountain is waiting.<br />
So&#8230;get on your way!</p>
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		<title>01/18/10 Monday Pray &amp; Fast</title>
		<link>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/01/011810-monday-pray-fast/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/01/011810-monday-pray-fast/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:27:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>cherie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pray/Fast 4 Marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.uniquedove.com/?p=427</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi Pray &#38; Fasters&#8211;
A quick note that we are fasting and praying during lunch today for 1) marriages for those who desire (and I&#8217;d throw in for those who&#8217;d benefit but whose desire is up in the air!), for 2) strength for men to walk forward into marriage even amid seemingly attractive detours, and for [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi Pray &amp; Fasters&#8211;</p>
<p>A quick note that we are fasting and praying during lunch today for 1) marriages for those who desire (and I&#8217;d throw in for those who&#8217;d benefit but whose desire is up in the air!), for 2) strength for men to walk forward into marriage even amid seemingly attractive detours, and for 3) us as women to see, feel, and live out God&#8217;s fresh perspective/understanding/choices re. men/relationships/marriage.</p>
<p>And as we pray, keep in mind how God wants to not simply move mountains in our relationships with men (though we are increasingly believing that that is possible), but also in our relationships with him.  This whole Monday thing is in many ways a &#8220;two purpose&#8221; project&#8211;we trust that in our fasting &amp; prayers we will 1) drawing closer to the Lord (intimacy), and that 2) he will move in and through our relationships in tangible ways (impact).  It&#8217;s in light of this, that I&#8217;d encourage you to read the words below from our friend, Gwen.  She has been praying and fasting every Monday with us for over two years&#8230;.</p>
<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p>Dear friends in prayer,</p>
<p>This is Gwen writing from Philly. I turned 50 this year and in many ways I&#8217;m much more single than most, as my family is deceased. Connally extended an offer for me to write something as I&#8217;ve been at Monday prayer with everyone from the beginning. What I want to share is how I&#8217;ve been transformed by this discipline and invitation, and this is part one— wrestling with my own ambivalence.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been convinced that &#8216;prayer&#8217; used as a verb&#8211;to pray&#8211;isn&#8217;t really taught well in many circles. I was 40 before I began to understand what it meant to &#8216;open my soul to God&#8217; and &#8216;talk to him from that place&#8217;. I was the normal evangelical girl just spouting back scripture to him without my soul being attached to the words or action of prayer. During this rather substantial mid-life situation at 40, I got some great teaching, modeling and spirit-filled prayer partners for the first time in my life, and it was then that my life began to change.</p>
<p>When Connally presented this offer of Monday fasting and prayer, I was 48, well into my newfound relationship with the Lord on His terms, and I saw this great opportunity to make a real discipline out of Mondays for the benefit of many I knew who were single, and for myself&#8211; who on some level truly wants some foothold of relationship on earth. So on the first week, I made a chart of the single women I knew who wanted to be married&#8211; those in their 20&#8217;s, 30&#8217;s, 40&#8217;s and 50&#8217;s and I included my divorced friends in that. It was a large list&#8211; over 40 names. And I did the same for the guys: 20&#8217;s, 30&#8217;s, 40&#8217;s, and 50&#8217;s and included those who were divorced and getting divorced. Again, it was a large list&#8211; 28 names.</p>
<p>Six months in, doing the extensive work with God on behalf of others, prayer became easier and easier; yet I realized I was ducking my obvious opportunity to pray for myself, clearly avoiding some emotions that were locked up somewhere. This distancing dance has steps I know well, where the invitation to know another more deeply (God in this case) also required facing parts of myself that refused to be known.  God wanted intimacy, where I could articulate what was true about my own shortcomings. I wanted to avoid the emotions attached to these shortcomings. This ambivalence was the first barrier to trusting God with my desire.</p>
<p>He led me to the examples of women in the Bible who ditched the ambivalent dance: Hannah, who poured her heart out so deeply others thought she was drunk; Esther, who risked death speaking truth to power; the woman in Luke 7 who used her own tears to wash Jesus’ feet; and the Woman at the Well whose emotional life was liberated as she met Love Incarnate for the first time. From these women I learned to tell the whole truth, even when it meant feeling gut-wrenching emotions needing expression and confession.</p>
<p>Intimacy&#8211;this profound attachment to God&#8211;began for me, therefore, with this level of trust: God and I had to agree with this new level of truth telling in order for me to trust His plans and purposes for me, marriage or no marriage in the future.</p>
<p>Looking back, then, on the past two plus years of praying and fasting, I have seen much relational fruit in the lives of many on my lists, and I will continue to pray.  But in my life, what I have seen is that our discipline of Mondays&#8211;my haven of trust&#8211;has drawn me past my ambivalent heart, most tenderly and powerfully, into His love.</p>
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		<title>01/11/10 Monday Pray &amp; Fast</title>
		<link>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/01/011110-monday-pray-fast/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/01/011110-monday-pray-fast/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:25:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>cherie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pray/Fast 4 Marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.uniquedove.com/?p=421</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Fast &#38; Pray-ers,
Happy New Year!  We are hoping your 2010 is off to a good start for you.
For those who are continuing with us for this next season, this is your reminder that we fast and pray during Monday lunches (or whenever you can, and ideally with a friend) for 1) marriages for those [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear Fast &amp; Pray-ers,</p>
<p>Happy New Year!  We are hoping your 2010 is off to a good start for you.<br />
For those who are continuing with us for this next season, this is your reminder that we fast and pray during Monday lunches (or whenever you can, and ideally with a friend) for 1) marriages for those who long to be married, for 2) the courage for men to walk uprightly&#8211;with an identity increasingly derived from their status as beloved Sons&#8211;and into marriage, and for 3) the humility for us, as women, to grow/change wherever we need to in this whole relationship arena.</p>
<p>One of the things that i was thinking might be helpful as we move into 2010 is a bit of renewed vision for relationship/marriage.  Without a vision, the Scriptures say, people perish.  But there are obviously many&#8211;often competing&#8211;visions for what a good marriage looks like.  I have observed, I believe, the whole gamut of marriages, from destructive to incredibly life-giving.  As well, there are endless books on the topic, and we know that movies and TV have shaped a lot of our visions in ways we don&#8217;t even know.  So we all carry around images, pictures and ideas in our brains&#8211;shaped by the above plus our personal experience&#8211;that form the substance of our vision (and inform the choices we make and the ways we relate).</p>
<p>In an effort, then, to launch us in a good direction for 2010, I want to encourage each of us to ask God to shape our (and our community of friends&#8217;) vision of marriage according to what is right, true, real, good and beautiful.  Ask him to burn off the dross and cement the good in our imaginations.  Study scripture, talk to people, pray, listen, reflect&#8230;.but ask the Lord for a vision of marriage that is pleasing to Him, and then ask if there are any concrete steps that you, or you and your friends, need to take in that direction (and be willing to follow through and take them).   At core I&#8217;m asking us to be willing to say:  &#8220;Okay God, we want relationship on your terms, for your purposes; teach us what that means!&#8221;  This might seem like more work than our moms had to do when they were getting married at 22 or 24 or whenever, but hey, it&#8217;s a different culture&#8230;.and so we have to turn up the heat of our intentionality and attention to God&#8217;s lead!</p>
<p>To this end, I want to commend to you a sermon on marriage that I heard back in December.  While I know everyone has his or her favorite (or most dreaded) voice on this marriage topic, this sermon was/is one of the freshest and most encouraging that I have ever heard.  It did not leave me with that creepy, gnawing feeling of &#8220;how&#8217;d I miss marriage or it miss me?&#8221; but rather it offered a vision that made sense to both the scriptures and my own life/cultural experience. So for what it is worth (which, actually, I think is a lot), you can check it out:</p>
<p>Marriage Part III – Why Are We Different – Eph 5 v 22-33 by David Hanke<br />
http://restorationarlington.org/sermons/2009/12/december-6-2009/</p>
<p>Regardless, however, I&#8217;d encourage you&#8211;with a freshness and open-handedness&#8211;simply to ask for &#8220;relationship vision for 2010.&#8221;  Some of us have been crushed by disappointment&#8211;ask for a renewed joy of vision.  Some of us are lost in fantasy&#8211;ask for a grounding of our vision.  Some of us already see pretty darn straight&#8211;well, help out the rest of us!  In short, ask for God to work his vision into the hearts, minds, and souls of all of us.  I truly believe that is a prayer he wants to answer.</p>
<p>Blessings to you as we move into this new decade.<br />
Connally</p>
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		<title>IHOP January Singles Gathering</title>
		<link>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/01/ihop-january-singles-gathering/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2010/01/ihop-january-singles-gathering/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:16:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>cherie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pray/Fast 4 Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singles Gatherings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.uniquedove.com/?p=417</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PLEASE PRAY FOR THIS MINISTRY TO SINGLES AT IHOP-KC. THANKS!
IHOP’s first Small Groups Monthly Singles Gathering is Tuesday, January 26 (7-9pm) @ Shiloh Retreat Center (see map and directions). ALL singles of ALL ages are welcome. See announcement in FCF bulletin for date/location of next event.
The Lord has impressed upon our hearts the need to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>PLEASE PRAY FOR THIS MINISTRY TO SINGLES AT IHOP-KC. THANKS!</p>
<p>IHOP’s first Small Groups Monthly Singles Gathering is Tuesday, January 26 (7-9pm) @ Shiloh Retreat Center (see map and directions). ALL singles of ALL ages are welcome. See announcement in FCF bulletin for date/location of next event.</p>
<p>The Lord has impressed upon our hearts the need to start a singles small group at IHOP-KC to help individuals navigate through the season of being single and God’s strategic delay.</p>
<p>The Small Groups Monthly Singles Gatherings will provide a safe environment for single men and women to fellowship while learning how to relate appropriately as brothers and sisters, steward each other’s hearts, and prepare to walk uprightly into godly marriage and families. We will also have opportunities each month to hear testimonies from various married couples in our community. Each gathering will begin with a brief time of fellowship and worship. We will then have a time of sharing and discussion. If you and/or someone you know might benefit from or contribute to these gatherings we invite you to join us.</p>
<p>Directions to Shiloh from 71 South:<br />
Exit Red Bridge Blvd. (turn right / west).<br />
Turn left onto Cleveland Road (south)<br />
Keep left at fork as road becomes gravel.<br />
Follow road along lake, at Shiloh Gardens fork, keep right.<br />
Road curves right to top of hill, go to end.<br />
<a href="http://www.ihop.org/Groups/1000026750/International_House_of/Old_Pages/About_IHOP_KC/Map_and_Directions/Map_and_Directions.aspx" target="_blank">map</a></p>
<p>Blessings!<br />
Singles Small Group</p>
<p>_____________________________________________________</p>
<p>Join with hundreds of women (and some men) in fasting Monday lunch and praying these three things: 1) that God would provide life-giving marriages for those who desire them, 2) that men would have the courage to walk upright before God, into marriage, and 3) that we as women would have the courage to see if/how God might be calling us to change for the sake of life-giving marriages. If you would like to subscribe to receive the weekly prayer updates please e-mail fast.pray@gmail.com.</p>
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		<title>The Great Exchange</title>
		<link>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2009/12/the-great-exchange/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2009/12/the-great-exchange/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Dec 2009 20:16:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>cherie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pray/Fast 4 Marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.uniquedove.com/?p=378</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Monday Prayer and Fasting December 21, 2009
Dear Pray-ers and Fast-ers,
This is the weekly email reminder that we are fasting and praying today for God to bring healing and redemption in places where we are stuck and broken;  give the gift of marriage to those of us that desire it; and work redemption and strength in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Monday Prayer and Fasting December 21, 2009</p>
<p>Dear Pray-ers and Fast-ers,</p>
<p>This is the weekly email reminder that we are fasting and praying today for God to bring healing and redemption in places where we are stuck and broken;  give the gift of marriage to those of us that desire it; and work redemption and strength in men so that they can (and do!) pursue and commit to a woman.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been one of the many recipients of the east-coast blizzard, and I have to say it&#8217;s been rather nice to be cooped up at home, unable to get out.  And the snow is gorgeous. Despite the beauty outside and all the happy holiday tv shows and commercials, holidays can be such a painful time&#8230; for me it has been the painful yearly &#8220;mark&#8221; I&#8217;ve used to tick off one more year that my life has not changed in the way I want it to change. I&#8217;ve often struggled at Christmas to believe that God is good to me. I&#8217;ve known it in my head, but my emotions have often had a hard time catching up.  And although God has bruoght a wonderful man this year, life is not pain free, nor is everything the way I want it to be&#8211;in some arenas of my life, not even close! Pain has abounded even more.  I still struggle to trust that God can and will show up with his goodness.  The devotion I read this morning from a little devotional book by World Harvest Mission called My Luggage is Not Heavy spoke to this, so I wanted to share it with you. This was written by Patric Knaak. I hope you find it encouraging.</p>
<p>My most persistent &#8220;hard questions&#8221; have to do with God&#8217;s goodness. I don&#8217;t really have a hard time believing that God is all powerful or all knowing. And, on a theoretical level, I don&#8217;t doubt that God is good.</p>
<p>But where I do wrestle, often in direct relationship to the circumstances of my life, is with questions like, &#8220;Is God really willing to be good to me, here, today, in the midst of my unbelief? Does God really, truly love me? And if he does, why isn&#8217;t he doing something to make things better?</p>
<p>Early on in his ministry, Jesus ran into a man who was asking the same sort of questions. The story is told in Mark 1:</p>
<p>A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, &#8220;If you are willing, you can make me clean.&#8221; Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. &#8220;I am willing,&#8221; he said. &#8220;Be clean!&#8221; Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured.  Jesus sent him away at once with a strong warning: &#8220;See to it that you don&#8217;t tell this to anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them.&#8221; Instead he went out and began to talk freely, spreading the news. As a result, Jesus could no longer enter a town openly but stayed outside in lonely places.</p>
<p>Did you catch what the man said? &#8220;If&#8221;&#8211;&#8221;If you are willing, you can make me clean.&#8221; Just like me, the leper isn&#8217;t questioning Jesus&#8217; abilities. He&#8217;s wondering about Jesus&#8217; goodness.</p>
<p>Its an understandable question given what the leper was going through.  He was dying from a painful, disfiguring disease. And because of the OT laws on cleanness, he was forced to live apart from his family and friends and barred from worshipping at the temple. The leper&#8217;s physical disease is a tangible illustration of what sin does in our lives. Sin causes physical suffering and eventual death, isolates us from those we love, and ultimately separates us from God.</p>
<p>Jesus&#8217; response is no less revealing than the leper&#8217;s question. As Jesus looks down on this wreck of a human, he sees someone who has been so crushed by his circumstances that he is unsure if his heavenly Father even loves him anymore. Mark&#8217;s particular choice of works in the original text tells us that Jesus &#8220;fills up to overflowing with compassion&#8221; for the leper. What could be more awesome than looking up into the eyes of the Alpha and Omega, the Firstborn Over All Creation, and seeing pure, unadulterated compassion and tenderness?</p>
<p>Then, Jesus reaches out his hand and firmly puts it on the man. (And when do you suppose was the last time someone did that?)  A second or two goes by, and Jesus removes all doubt about his desire to heal the man, saying &#8220;I am willing. Be clean!&#8221;</p>
<p>At those words, this shell of a human, this dead man walking among the living, is brought back to health, life, and peace with God. And with that new life, the leper literally &#8220;began to preach a lot in order to tell others about what Jesus had done for him. He is a new man with a new story to tell.</p>
<p>Even here, thought, my own leprous heart is tempted to complain: &#8220;Yes, but he got what he wanted, didn&#8217;t he? He was healed and restored. But Jesus hasn&#8217;t really fixed the issues in my life that need fixing and until he does, I&#8217;m having a hard time trusting him.&#8221; And so I need people around me who will lovingly challenge me and point me back to the truth of the gospel: God&#8217;s lavish goodness had already been poured out on me through Christ&#8217;s death on the cross.</p>
<p>In the larger context of Mark&#8217;s Gospel, we see that before meeting the leper, Jesus was free to travel where he wanted, spreading the good news of hte kingdom, while the leper was isolated and unable to move freely. At the end of his encounter with Jesus, it is now the leper who is surrounded by people and preaching about Jesus, while Jesus is confined to the lonely places.</p>
<p>Mark is subtly pointing us ahead to the great exchange that takes place on the cross: our healing is dependent on Christ&#8217;s affliction.  In a very real sense, Jesus is saying to us, &#8220;I am willing,&#8221; because the ultimate statement of &#8220;I am willing&#8221; has already come in the form of &#8220;It is finished.&#8221;</p>
<p>Powerful, huh?</p>
<p>We&#8217;re going to take a break from prayer and fasting for the next 2 weeks, then we&#8217;ll be back at it January 10th.</p>
<p>May God&#8217;s grace be to you over the holidays, and may you truly believe and trust his goodness.</p>
<p>Anne</p>
<p><em>To receive weekly updates please e-mail fast.pray@gmail.com.</em></p>
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		<title>Not Good for Man to be Alone</title>
		<link>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2009/12/not-good-for-man-to-be-alone/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2009/12/not-good-for-man-to-be-alone/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Dec 2009 22:51:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>cherie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pray/Fast 4 Marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.uniquedove.com/?p=356</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi Friends,
Well, we&#8217;re right in the middle of cookie, icing, brunch, heavy hors d&#8217;oeuvres, eggnog, &#38; mulled cider season.  So the discipline of fasting, though radical in December, might just serve as an intelligent means of weight management!  But, that is not why we fast.
We fast as a reminder to ourselves that we are dependent [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi Friends,</p>
<p>Well, we&#8217;re right in the middle of cookie, icing, brunch, heavy hors d&#8217;oeuvres, eggnog, &amp; mulled cider season.  So the discipline of fasting, though radical in December, might just serve as an intelligent means of weight management!  But, that is not why we fast.</p>
<p>We fast as a reminder to ourselves that we are dependent on God and that our appetites are not our gods, and we fast because God&#8217;s Word often equates the most powerful prayer as that which is accompanied by fasting.  And as we pray, we are praying, together&#8211;across this country and in many other countries as well&#8211;for spouses for those who long to be married, for men to walk upright into the lives &amp; relationships that God has designed them for, and for women to be willing to see how we need to change or grow for the sake of good, life-giving relationships/marriages.</p>
<p>So as we pray and fast, I want to share one thought which has been on my mind (which might not seem initially related to marriage and relationships&#8211;but hang with me!).  Late this afternoon, my friends, Bob and Ronda, and I went to take a gift to a client we know from the food bank where we volunteer.  He lives alone in a subsidized apt, with one bedroom, one sofa, and one tv.  The only decoration are 3 pictures propped against the wall&#8217;s edge:  one of Jesus, one of his deceased father, and one of his daughter, whom he has not seen since she was 10 (probably 20+ years ago).  As we stood there and prayed with him at the end of our visit&#8211;and it was truly a sweet time, the 4 of us holding hands, his stained through years of chain smoking and shaking for unknown reasons&#8211;I was struck by his the nature of his poverty.  It is most painfully emotional in nature.  He is profoundly alone.  He has some family in the area, but he&#8217;s not sure what, if anything, will end up happening for Christmas.  And I pondered as we prayed:  this man needs to be woven into a circle, a family, a community.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t have too many illusions about rescuing people from dire circumstances.  My few years of urban ministry taught me my limits in those arenas.  But nevertheless, I do long to see people woven into circles beyond themselves.  The most natural starting place for single people seems to be marriage and, hopefully, family.  And this belief is integral to why we pray.  And yet, this alone isn&#8217;t the end game.  It seems like our souls cry out to be a part of an even bigger family.  Our trinitarian God (who exists in a 3 person community of sorts) has made us like him&#8211;people designed to belong, to be woven in, to be part of something far greater and bigger and richer and more alive than ourselves.  It&#8217;s as if it is written into our DNA.</p>
<p>This, then, is what we are ultimately praying for.  Ephesians 2:22 speaks of God&#8217;s people as &#8220;being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.&#8221;  We want to be men and women who are capable of deep, mutual, life-giving, fruitful relationship.  We want to see all of us, men &amp; women alike, increasingly able to love, to be others-centered, to give, and somehow to trust in the process that God will dwell with, among and even through us (and if this happens, you know a side benefit will be more marriages!).</p>
<p>So this Monday, I hope you&#8217;ll pray for marriages and for men &amp; women to walk uprightly, AND I hope that you&#8217;ll also pray that Spirit-given love among and between us will trump loneliness in our cutlure.   Really, in the end, maybe all this prayer/fast stuff is this simple:  God said it&#8217;s not good for man to be alone.  And so, Lord God, we are saying, &#8220;We agree!  Bring on loneliness-trumping relationships in the lives of single people, as well as in the lives of married people, in our churches, in our communities.&#8221;  I think that prayer is right in line with the heart of God.</p>
<p>Blessings on you as you pray and fast with almost 400 others of us&#8211;</p>
<p>Connally</p>
<p><em>If you would like to receive weekly updates please e-mail <a href="mailto:pray.fast@gmail.com">pray.fast@gmail.com</a>.</em></p>
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		<title>Finding A Wife Later In Life</title>
		<link>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2009/12/finding-a-wife-later-in-life/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.uniquedove.com/2009/12/finding-a-wife-later-in-life/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:55:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>cherie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Pray/Fast 4 Marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.uniquedove.com/?p=352</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[                   
Dear Pray-ers and Fast-ers-
  
This is the weekly email reminder that we are praying and fasting on Monday for God to give the gift of marriage to those of us who desire it; change us where we need to be changed; and work in men, bringing them to the place where they can love, serve [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><em>                   </em></div>
<div><em>Dear Pray-ers and Fast-ers-</em></div>
<div><em> </em> </div>
<div><em>This is the weekly email reminder that we are praying and fasting on Monday for God to give the gift of marriage to those of us who desire it; change us where we need to be changed; and work in men, bringing them to the place where they can love, serve and commit to a woman in marriage. I&#8217;m sending this out a day early as I won&#8217;t be able to get onto email tomorrow. I asked my fiance, Mark, if he&#8217;d be willing to write this week, and he was, so I&#8217;ll just let him take it from here&#8230; </em></div>
<div><em></em> </div>
<div><em>Blessings,</em></div>
<div><em></em> </div>
<div><em>Anne</em></div>
<div> </div>
<div><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">Dear Pray-and-Fasters,</span> </div>
<div><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">Anne shared a few weeks ago her tale of how God brought us together, and she’s now asked me to tell the same story from my perspective.  I’m sure it’s one that we’ll never grow tired of telling.</span> </div>
<div>
<div>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">Twenty-five years ago I was honoured to serve as best man for my college roommate Bill, who got married a few months after our graduation; my other roommate followed suit two years later.  “You’ll be next,” Bill’s mother told me, which as it turns out was true enough, though at the time I expected “next” to mean something less than two and a half decades later.  My own mother meanwhile encouraged me in a letter with Psalm 46:10, which had comforted her during the days long before when her own friends were marrying and she had no prospects in sight:  “Be still, and know that I am God.”  Therein lies wisdom, and I hope that that verse has to some degree characterized my life as a single man and my attitude toward marriage in the many years since.</span> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">At first I had no doubt that God would soon give me a wife in due course.  I watched as Bill and his wife had one, two, and then three sons, and they generously allowed me to take an active role in the life of their family; I looked forward to the day when I would have a wife and children of my own.  Like any self-respecting Christian single adult, during my late 20’s and early 30’s I became actively involved in my church’s singles group.  It was a rich period in my life, during which God blessed me greatly:  I established many close and lasting friendships with both men and women, grew tremendously in my faith, went on any number of dates, and even fell in love — but I did not find a wife. </span> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">In those days it seemed that opportunities for deeper fellowship and spiritual growth went hand-in-glove with the quest for marriage; but as I neared age 40 and my single friends gradually paired off and married, I seemed to face a choice between devoting my time and energy to the close friendships I had already established – though most of my friends were now married and raising families – or devoting my time and energy to finding a wife by remaining engaged in the church singles scene.  Most of my remaining single friends seemed to step up the pace of the search by choosing the latter course, but after much prayer I chose instead to pour my energies into existing relationships.  Nonetheless, I continued to long for marriage and to plead with God to bring someone into my life.</span> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">Around that time a friend asked whether I viewed my extended bachelorhood as a choice (or series of choices) that I had made, or one that had been made for me.  I replied that I generally tended to view it as something that God had imposed on me, more or less against my wishes, but that I had made certain choices which could be keeping me from marriage.  “Are you too picky?” my great-aunt Wanda asked me shortly before her own fourth marriage; I didn’t think so, but the question weighed on me — was I passing up opportunities which God would have me pursue?  There were many undeniably godly available women at my church; should I simply pick one and start pursuing her, or should I wait for someone for whom I felt a deeper longing?  Should I attend singles events at other area churches or sign up for e-Harmony as a number of my friends had done, some with marked success?  I struggled with such questions, and I firmly believe that they have no “right” answer; God leads each of his children differently.  But in my case, after seasons of prayer I always felt called to the same place:  to be still and to trust God.  Which is not to imply that I was wholly passive with regard to the search; in the course of life I often met women who struck me as having relationship potential, and I would move forward in establishing and developing a friendship or romantic connection insofar as possible.  In most cases nothing came of it, though I had a couple of short-lived dating relationships.  Was I content?  Yes and no; I believed (on most days) that I was where God wanted me in life, and I was content with that.  But still I longed to be married, and still I prayed.</span> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">A couple of years ago I began to notice the longing growing keener.  No doubt this was due in part to external events such as my grandmother’s death, which made me more aware of the march of time and of the dwindling of my immediate family; but no doubt it was also due in no small measure to the prayers which began to be offered around that time by this group, and of one member in particular who began praying for me by name weekly with regard to marriage.</span> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">God answered those prayers in part by working changes in my own heart — for example, by making me less satisfied with and fulfilled by other relationships in life.  By the summer of my 47th year I felt a sorrow which at times was almost overwhelming as I faced the prospect of living alone in the years ahead.  At times I felt guilty for such thoughts; would it not be enough, if I were left without family, that God would be my God?  And yet even in the Garden before the Fall, God had said that it was not good for man to be alone.</span> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">I also struggled at times with anger with God for my increasingly-felt loneliness, and at times questioned his goodness to me.  I believed that God <em>could</em> give me a wife, but I had no assurance that he <em>would</em>.  In March I visited friends in California who prayed at such length for God to end my singleness that I was a bit irritated at how much they were dwelling on it.  Soon afterwards, though, I had a particularly intense time of prayer on my own, pleading with God to fulfill my longing to be married though I didn’t see how it was possible.</span> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">When I met Anne at a wedding a few weeks later I didn’t immediately recognize her as the culmination of my search or the answer to the many prayers that had been prayed throughout our lives.  In fact, I didn’t even immediately recognize her as someone I was romantically interested in.  But we had a good conversation, and the day after the wedding I sent her an email; she responded, and so we began a correspondence which continued until she left the country a week later.  Now I began to realize that something serious was afoot; again I prayed, and felt convicted that I needed to continue to pursue Anne and see what developed.  But what if she wasn’t right for me?  Well, I would have to trust God with that, as I’d trusted him with so much already.</span> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">The rest is history.  Next April, God willing, Bill will finally return the favour of twenty-five years ago by serving as best man in my wedding, just a few months before the wedding of his oldest son.  And I pray and trust that the God who has been unwaveringly faithful to me throughout my many years of singleness will enable me to be a good and faithful husband to Anne. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.”  (Proverbs 18:22)</span> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">So what is the point?  First, to thank you for your prayers, which God used powerfully in my own life, and to encourage you to press on in continuing to pray and fast for other single men and women who desire to be married; your work, though very hard, is bearing good and lasting fruit.  Second, to encourage you to trust God, to believe that he is good and loving at all times, that he knows the desires of our hearts and that he delights to bless his children.  And last but certainly not least, to give thanks publicly for God’s sovereignty in bringing Anne into my life and drawing us together and husband- and wife-to-be.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: small; font-family: Cambria;">Join with hundreds of women (and some men) in fasting Monday lunch and praying these three things: 1) that God would provide life-giving marriages for those who desire them, 2) that men would have the courage to walk upright before God, into marriage, and 3) that we as women would have the courage to see if/how God might be calling us to change for the sake of life-giving marriages. If you would like to subscribe to receive the weekly prayer updates please e-mail fast.pray@gmail.com.</span></div>
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