Dear Fast & Pray-ers,

Happy New Year!  We are hoping your 2010 is off to a good start for you.
For those who are continuing with us for this next season, this is your reminder that we fast and pray during Monday lunches (or whenever you can, and ideally with a friend) for 1) marriages for those who long to be married, for 2) the courage for men to walk uprightly–with an identity increasingly derived from their status as beloved Sons–and into marriage, and for 3) the humility for us, as women, to grow/change wherever we need to in this whole relationship arena.

One of the things that i was thinking might be helpful as we move into 2010 is a bit of renewed vision for relationship/marriage.  Without a vision, the Scriptures say, people perish.  But there are obviously many–often competing–visions for what a good marriage looks like.  I have observed, I believe, the whole gamut of marriages, from destructive to incredibly life-giving.  As well, there are endless books on the topic, and we know that movies and TV have shaped a lot of our visions in ways we don’t even know.  So we all carry around images, pictures and ideas in our brains–shaped by the above plus our personal experience–that form the substance of our vision (and inform the choices we make and the ways we relate).

In an effort, then, to launch us in a good direction for 2010, I want to encourage each of us to ask God to shape our (and our community of friends’) vision of marriage according to what is right, true, real, good and beautiful.  Ask him to burn off the dross and cement the good in our imaginations.  Study scripture, talk to people, pray, listen, reflect….but ask the Lord for a vision of marriage that is pleasing to Him, and then ask if there are any concrete steps that you, or you and your friends, need to take in that direction (and be willing to follow through and take them).   At core I’m asking us to be willing to say:  “Okay God, we want relationship on your terms, for your purposes; teach us what that means!”  This might seem like more work than our moms had to do when they were getting married at 22 or 24 or whenever, but hey, it’s a different culture….and so we have to turn up the heat of our intentionality and attention to God’s lead!

To this end, I want to commend to you a sermon on marriage that I heard back in December.  While I know everyone has his or her favorite (or most dreaded) voice on this marriage topic, this sermon was/is one of the freshest and most encouraging that I have ever heard.  It did not leave me with that creepy, gnawing feeling of “how’d I miss marriage or it miss me?” but rather it offered a vision that made sense to both the scriptures and my own life/cultural experience. So for what it is worth (which, actually, I think is a lot), you can check it out:

Marriage Part III – Why Are We Different – Eph 5 v 22-33 by David Hanke
http://restorationarlington.org/sermons/2009/12/december-6-2009/

Regardless, however, I’d encourage you–with a freshness and open-handedness–simply to ask for “relationship vision for 2010.”  Some of us have been crushed by disappointment–ask for a renewed joy of vision.  Some of us are lost in fantasy–ask for a grounding of our vision.  Some of us already see pretty darn straight–well, help out the rest of us!  In short, ask for God to work his vision into the hearts, minds, and souls of all of us.  I truly believe that is a prayer he wants to answer.

Blessings to you as we move into this new decade.
Connally